Bedside Manner
by RochelleRene
Summary: Thanks to @Oc7ober for this idea: House and Cuddy argue over which side of the bed they should have to sleep on.


**So I am too crazy with grad school to write multi-chapters very often now, though I love to… The Rachel, the Wilson, etc. But I suddenly realized I didn't have to stop altogether… The beauty of the one-shot. Thanks to Oc7ober for the idea for this fic… She's my current muse. **

"Get your ass in here, Cuddy!" House bellowed toward the bathroom door. "The rest of you can come too if it wants." He was lying back on the bed, already in his underwear, hands resting behind his head. He had one thing on his mind, while Cuddy had millions.

"Do you think…" she began, padding into the room in a nightie and standing at the foot of the bed to look at him while she rubbed lotion into her arms, "That if I had the nurses trade patient and desk duty mid-shift, they would be more efficient because they wouldn't get so sick of what they were doing?"

"Don't care," House replied, holding his arms out to beckon her to bed. "That is not sexy, Cuddy, even if it involves nurses."

Her brow was still furrowed in thought as she walked toward him when she stopped short and put her hands on her hips, frowning at him slightly… Never a good sign.

"Ugh," he groaned. "So close." He sighed. "Do you think… That if I physically picked you up mid-walk-to-the-bed, you would be more efficient about having sex with me?"

Cuddy ignored him. "Why do you get that side of the bed?" she asked accusingly.

"Huh?"

"I always slept on that side, and then you swooped in and just stole my side," she explained.

"I always sleep on the right side too," he retorted. "Why should I have to change just because I'm keeping you warm at night?"

"I like to be closer to the door," she stated.

"I like to be on the right." They stared at each other, two stubborn beasts. Then House got a wonderfully awful idea. "Let's make it interesting," he said.

Cuddy raised a brow. "What are you suggesting, Dr. House?"

"Whoever can physically hold out the longest – not even a suspicious shudder Ms. Sneaky-gasm – gets this side of the bed," he offered. He smiled widely at his own idea.

Cuddy stood thinking about it, while he freely ogled her body. "That doesn't seem fair," she countered. "It's a lot easier for me to have one."

"Lady, you have no idea what men are going through, do you?" House exclaimed. "We're like racecars – 0 to 100 in 6 seconds. We're just holding out for you guys in your horse and buggies."

"Well, then all the more unfair it is," Cuddy pointed out. "You have years of practice resisting the urge." She stepped closer to him and bent to lay her hands on his chest, her chin on her hands, and stare him down. "When I feel overcome with physical desire, I just let myself enjoy it," she whispered seductively.

"Sexy," he evaluated, "But you'll have to do better than that." He smirked at her. "Okay, I'll even the odds. You can't go twice before me. You get one freebie."

Cuddy stood and held out her hand to shake, but then pulled it back. "You sure you wanna do this?"

"Cuddy, it's a win-win. I get to have an irresistible orgasm, or I get to give you two and keep my side of the bed. I'm sure."

She extended her hand again, but instead of shaking it he tugged it hard and pulled her on top of him. Cuddy bent her legs along his hips and sunk down onto his chest. She felt his hands sliding up the back of her thighs, under her nightgown and over her ass, fingers gliding along her spine.

Cuddy felt herself relaxing finally. She had a Pavlovian response to his touch. She arched up a little against his fingers and sighed.

House chuckled quietly. "I got this in the _bag_." Cuddy suddenly remembered the wager that thirty seconds on top of him had made her forget and put her game face on.

"Don't count your chickens, House," she warned before kissing a trail down his chest, his belly, his…

"Wait," he said almost inaudibly, then "Wait! Not fair!" he accused.

Cuddy smiled up at him. "I thought you're a pro at this."

"I am, but come on. You're throwing me right into the Olympics here."

"A bet's a bet, House," Cuddy declared before returning to the task at hand.

House stared at the ceiling, trying to think about anything but what was happening to his body. Normally in conflict he'd plan a counter-attack, but in this situation is just made him more vulnerable. He dug in and resisted.

Cuddy eventually realized that he had superhuman powers that he had not revealed during previous experiences. She clambered back up his body and propped herself on her elbows, looking down at his sweaty and flushed face. "How are you doing this?" she asked.

"I just think about something else," he explained. "Something repulsive."

"Like what?"

"A disgusting flesh wound. Detoxing. Wilson telling me his feelings about something."

Cuddy laughed. House didn't. "You look like you're in pain," she observed. This was sort of fascinating to her.

"Nah, it's good actually," he said, and he suddenly flipped her over onto her back and hovered over her. "I can channel all my discomfort into making _you_ squirm."

Cuddy started laughing, but suddenly his hand was against her heat and his mouth was grazing hers. She felt his fingers slide in and over her. She felt the muscles of his body hard against hers, his stubble sliding down her neck.

_Wait, wait!_ She realized she was focusing on all the things she usually did – his body, his sounds, his touch – the stuff that usually carried her gently to bliss. She had to borrow his tactic and think about anything but this. She steeled herself against it and tried to return to her dilemma about the nurses' duties.

But the thing about women with great lovers – ones that know how to touch them, how to adore them, how to focus completely on their pleasure – is they stop making mental grocery lists during sex. They don't think about that fight with their best friend or how the oil in the car needs changing. Rather, they enjoy these men enjoying them and simply clear their minds and ride wave after wave of pleasure.

Cuddy had gotten used to that.

_Nurses… Split shifts... Agenda item for next staff meeting… Good God that feels good!_

"Don't fight it, Cuddy," House rasped in her ear. He had one hand on her breast and the other still doing everything she had trained it to do between her legs. She felt that spring coiling, almost all the way down to her toes. "It's just a side of the bed," he continued. She tried to slide away but his hand knew how to stay the course. "No big deal. Not in comparison to how _good_ this would feel." House's lips closed around her earlobe. Suddenly Cuddy was all bucking pelvis and thrown back head, gulping air and clawing at his body. House didn't let up and she felt like she was having four climaxes at once.

It finally passed and she grew sensitive and shoved his hand away, wondering why she couldn't find the will to do that before. House lay beside her, propped on an elbow and running his fingers up and down her body. After what felt like a decade she was able to open her eyes and turn to look at him.

He smiled a big fat wide smile. "A noble effort," he congratulated her. "Too bad you suck at not having orgasms."

"Game's not over," she slurred. He laughed right at her.

"Yeah, you sound pretty intimidating."

"Well, if you're so sure of yourself, why aren't you screwing me by now, House?" she said, suddenly sassy and ready to fight for her side of the bed. She knew one of his few weaknesses. She sat up, forcing him up with her. She looped her arms around his neck, straddled his lap, and purred, "Not gonna be so easy sliding inside of me and resisting the urge to come, is it?" Dirty talk. What made it even better was she only did it sometimes, making it a pretty potent force on old Mr. Never-Left-Puberty. She already saw his mouth hanging open a little, the first sign he was turned on. Cuddy slid her hand between them, pushing him against her. She leaned back so her body was on display for him. He stared at her like a starving man would at bread. He slid a hand from her throat down to one knee. She saw his chest heaving. "I'll tell you what, House. If you think it's too much to resist that feeling of me all around you, my muscles tensing as you drive me crazy, then I'll just let you have your side of the bed right now…" She sat up again, meeting him nose to nose. She pressed him right at her entrance and he literally whimpered a little. "…if you can resist fucking me right now." She _had_ him.

House slammed her down on the bed. She giggled, drunk on power. She wrapped her legs around him and lifted her pelvis up to meet his downward pressure. Her cockiness dissolved, however, when she felt the pleasure this gave her too. "You're no good at this either, Cuddy," he said. "You can't ignore the feeling of me, on you, in you." Cuddy's whimper escaped. House bent close to her, his body pressed against her as he moved inside of her. "So thanks for the new wager, but – considering the odds - I think I'm gonna be able to have my cake and fuck it too." He pushed up on his arms and she saw his chest and biceps taut with his efforts. She ran her hands over his body and up his neck to cup his face, grimaced in resistance. The bet didn't even matter anymore, she just wanted him. She pushed her legs higher up his body. He moved to his elbows and sped up as he kissed her breasts. He felt like he might lose his mind, but he started to make himself slow down, against every primitive impulse he had. Cuddy, however, dug her heels into his ass and pushed, forcing him deeper into her.

"House." "Cuddy." The gasps overlapped. A cat's game.

They lay there in a sweaty, gasping pile of limbs. "Why didn't we think of this conflict resolution strategy years ago?" House breathed. He held her tightly against him.

"Because it didn't work. We still don't have resolution," she pointed out.

"Sure we do," he replied. "I'll stay here on top of you, and we both get this side of the bed." Cuddy smiled into his chest.

"Well, I can't breathe," she pointed out.

"It's totally overrated."

[H] [H] [H]

The next day after work, Cuddy came home and went into her room to change before making dinner for Rachel. She was shocked to see her bed moved. It was against the other wall, facing the opposite way. She realized what he'd done – He could be on the right, she could be by the door. There was a note lying on the pillow for her.

_Cuddy,_

_You had your ways. I had mine. Everyone knew we couldn't work…_

_Then you moved the bed._

_House_


End file.
